Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I wuz on tv

Me... on tv

The only thing they didn't quote me on was the bit about LostZombies.com... damnit!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Yo Padre

So, I just wanted to say that I have the coolest Dad in the world. wanna see a picture of him? Here he is with Mom.

Anyways, as I was saying, my Dad is one of the coolest guys in the world. Not only does he live in this crazy ass house that they built out of tires empty bottles and cans and gobs of dirt, but he also really does his best to make sure his grandkids have the birthdays of their dreams.
See, Big Stink wanted to have a "water party" for his big double digit party. The park where we're going to have it at doesn't have access to water spigots anymore, and we were going to have to rethink our plans (imagine 20+ ten year olds with squirt guns... that's what we had planned). I called up Dad, asked him a huge favor, and he totally delivers.
So, I just wanted to say "Thanks Dad, not only were you a good parent, but you're a good role model. I love you."

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Obama and the antichrist: a comparison

So, LW has been on one of her websites, and these ladies keep claiming that Obama is "the anitchrist". Well, as a public service to everyone out there, and to help clear up any confusion, we will compare President Obama with the antichrist.

First off, the antichrist:

- [sits] in the temple, opposing himself against anything that is worshipped(2 Thessalonians 2:4)
- claims divine authority (2 Thessalonians 2:4)
- works all kids of counterfeit miracles and signs (2 Thessalonians 2:9)
- does all kinds of evil (2 Thessalonians 2:10)
- sets itself up in a "wing" or a Pinnacle" the temple.(Daniel 9:27)
- might be of jewish origin (matt 24:15)

Now, we could go further into detail, but then we would have to start scouring the rest of the bible, and I can only handle so much scorching of the flesh as I handle the damn thing.

As for the other side of this equation...

Barak Hussein Obama:
- Sits in the White House after being elected to the presidency (New York Times 5 Nov 2008)
- has said that "we can neither retreat from the world nor try to bully it into submission" and that we (Americans) must "lead the world, by deed and example". (Foreign Affairs 86 - July - August 2007)
- has not pulled off any miracles
- Define "Evil"
- has had near epic fails with early cabinet selections
- Is of Hawaiian descent

Right, so those last four, I have nothing to directly point to to back those up, so they're arguably non-points for Obama.

But the point I'm trying to make is this....

It's fine if you don't like the guy... I can dig that. I didn't like the last asshole who was in the White House. But if you're going to make comparisons to biblical figures, GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHT FIRST!
Sorry folks, you can cling to your republican ideals, your rigid codes of ethics, your beliefs and/or racist/mysoginistic/outdated/outmoded ideologies but comparing Obama to the antichrist is too much of a stretch for me. (P.s. I'll hang on to mine while we're at it)
That's like comparing Rush Limbaugh to a sperm whale because it killed Captain Ahab.
If you want to spew your rhetoric, that is fine, just be prepared to be spewed back at.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

America get Teabagged

Today is Tax Day. Enough about that. So, one of the things that make life so grand is the fact that people can assemble and petition the government for a redress of grievances. Now see, one of the big differences between the democraps and repubicans is the way they approach peaceful demonstration.

Democraps will makes signs and the more fanatic ones will throw rocks, trash cans, sticks, small children, etc. If they're feeling really frisky, they'll put themselves in front of motorcades or chain themselves to immovable objects.

Repubicans will make signs and the more fanatic ones will trow rocks, trash cans, sticks, minorities, etc. If they're feeling really frisky, they'll... well, I'll let you read for yourself:

In Colorado, we have the right to bear arms if we can legally purchase it. The only rule is that it must be visible from three sides. I move that we exercise our rights on this day, perhaps a rifle over the shoulder is a better message than a quip on a piece of poster board.
This is a peaceful, demonstration, I will remind everyone who reads it.

***

Maybe if people came with pitch forks and such … the news media might see we’re serious … Hang in effigy a few politicians - Obama, Pelosi, etc. Otherwise … you may have noticed previous tea parties (a few weeks back) were completely ignored by all but FOX News … Be outrageous or be ignored
***

I’m bringing an old flint-lock musket (Unloaded) strictly symbolic to show a real desire to take back our country from the socialist - We really need to march on the local news media so they can’t ignore us like they did last month - over 4000 protesters and not a peep (FOX News was the exception)
***

If we don’t act up (Bring Pitch Forks and maybe hang a few politicians in effigy) the liberal press will ignore us again like they did the 4,000 plus tax protesters in Florida last month …
***

I don’t know about pitchforks, but I wonder if masks would be prudent.
***

I am so happy and relieved to know
I AM NOT ALONE!
Together we will purge this country of the true terrorist!
I will be with you all ,hand in hand, at the fort Collins march.
With arms locked we will break right through their chains!

***

In order to fully understand what is going on here in America I would highly suggest that all of you research the following subjects: The Committee of 300 (the Illumaniti) Dr. Coleman on google video, FEMA Concentration Camps, and the NWO (New World Order).
***

Bring your pitchforks! For safety sake, stick a potato on each prong. If you have an effigy of Obama/Pelosi/Reid/Frank even better. Instead of burning the effigy, simply place the pitchfork up the a** and hoist it before the cameras.
***

This next one really blew me away. This is from "Gunny Bob" a Denver Radio Personality:

Everyone who attends should be aware of our esteemed opponents placing ringers in the audience to set us up for a scam that they hope will go viral on the Web.

Liberals may try to blend into the honest audience and push, trip or otherwise assault you, or intimidate you using any number of means. Bring video cameras and have them running and scanning all the time so the video can be used in court. Watch for them to hide nasty signs and posters under their outer clothing. Watch for them to suddenly produce KKK signs, baby killer signs, and other forms of noxious buffoonery. And watch for them carrying weapons, feces, urine, and other problematic items.


I think that this one is my personal favorite that sums up just how deluded some people are:

The liberals, gays, lesbiens [sic], are trying to take away OUR RIGHTS! Go figure!

These have all been taken verbatim from the website http://taxdayteaparty.com/teaparty/colorado. The only name I included was the radio personality, due to the fact that he is a public figure. The other posts I have left the names off of; if you want to figure out who said what, check out the website. At the same time, a few of these quotes were probably said by the same people, so I don't want anyone thinking that the "extreme" conservatives are much more prolific than they actually are.

On the opposite side of the coin, there are quite a few people on the website that are speaking out against these lunatics quoted above.

I am kind of worried about the number of comments posted from people making this a “republican vs democrat” issue. That is not what this is supposed to be about. I frankly don’t give a darn if they wear an R or a D after their name - they all look and smell alike to me any more, with very few exceptions. Glenn Beck has been warning against doing exactly that, because there are those out there who would love to make this another divisive issue. What we should be focussed[sic] on is that we are American citizens and that we demand that our elected officials represent US! Please think about that.
***

I highly suggest leaving the guns out for two reasons. First, most of these tea parties will be at or march to a government facility of some sort and having a weapon in those places is illegal. Second, the media will focus solely on the guns if they see it or hear about it and the meaning of the tea party will be lost.
***

This is not a partisan event and is not centered on Liberalism. As a very irate conservative, I look back on many administrations and they all have spent our money carelessly and without obstruction. This movement needs not the partisan labels as it is bigger then that. We need all citizens to look inward to themselves and hold this truth that we cannot stand for this any longer, no matter who is in charge!
***

PLEASE JOIN the Tea Party of choice and have a good time. Be friendly and on your best behavior. It’s a party! We want to reflect all genuine, traditional American citizens–hard working, generous, decent, thoughtful, collegial and law-abiding. Humor is welcome. There’s strength in numbers.

DON’t imitate the 60’s radicals and lefties who were obnoxious. Their demonstrations were divisive, loud and spit in the face of authority, taunted police and the National Guard to the breaking point, and disrespected veterans in despicable ways.

***

Marching with a gun is NOT a good idea! Marching with the constitution is….our politicians are ignoring us! LET”S march and tell them ENOUGH!!
***

Remember guys, these events are meant to be apolitical in the sense that we aren’t advocating for or against one party. One party might hypothetically stand for the same principles you or I do, but government expanded under George Bush and a Republican-led congress before Obama, Reid, and Pelosi got their crack at it. I would suggest your signs be tied to issues rather than people or parties.

now, I know people are going to say "well, you didn't bother hunting down any liberal quotes that show what lunatics they are". I know. We just have to wait a couple of years until the power has shifted, and I'll post anther one showing how loopy and ridiculous the liberal are.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter eggs plus blasphemy stopped by apathy

All of these pictures are thumbnails, so if you want a better look, just click on the image.


Easter Eggs
This is a top down view of the eggs that we made this year. Not too bad.


Craters of the moon?
This one reminds me of the moon. Not the RL moon, but the moon of the old sci-fi pulps, where BEMs kidnapped wasp waisted women while square-jawed manly men fired off burp guns.

Cat 1
After making the "Cheshire" Egg, I was inspired to make this egg. This is the front view.

Cat 2
This is the top-ish view of the cat. We were using neon colored gel dyes, and the camera kinda washed out the color. Unfortunately, you can't see the ears very well in this pic.

Egg 'o Lantern 1
This is one of Big Stink's Eggs. I don't know if he was going for a "Nightmare Before Christmas" type look or what, but I like how it turned out.

Egg 'o Lantern 2
This is the top down view of the Egg 'o Lantern.

Egg 'o Lantern 3
The back of the Egg 'o Lantern.

Face
This is a stupid little face that I was working on. I was trying to get some depth to the mouth, but it turned out rather crappy.

Cheshire 1
This is the one that I was the most impressed with, but disapointed with the picture of. For some reason, this saying has always stuck in my head. For those of you who don't recognize it, it's from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The Cheshire cat says this to Alice when she inquires why everything is so mad. I was afraid that the entire phrase would not fit due to the curvature of the egg.

Cheshire 2
This is the bottom half of the saying, and the camera did not want to cooperate with the egg. Boo!

Cheshire 3 (back)
This was a little bit of humor that I added after the fact. This is the back side of the egg, and I kept thinking of the Disney version where the cheshire cat would fade out and all that would be left was the eyes and the grin.

Cheshire 4
I decided that I was going to try one more picture of the saying, and I think it turned out rather well. The only thing that made me mad about the picture was that the dye was this really wild electric purple, and the pictures turned it blue.

Striations on a Theme
This was one that really caught my attention. I loved the way the colors kinda drifted across the green... reminds me a little of the planet Venus.

Hi Bye patu
This was from Big Stink to Little Stink.

Hippity Hop Hop
Alright, I admit it, this was one of the early ones, and I was trying to stay in the spirit of the holiday.

Flower Power
There's those damn liberal ideologies of ours rearing their ugly heads again.

I am the Egg, Man... Ook ook achoo
Big Stink made this one, and I just couldn't help myself. This one, I call "I am the egg, man... ook ook a chook.

So, after we made the eggs and put the stinks to bed, I started debating about doing some more eggs. I had a great idea for a new egg, but didn't do it. Probably for the best... see when I first thought of it, I didn't realize that it was not only sacreligeous, but also hugely blasphemous. See, the idea was to put the key that the Morningstar had given to Morpheus in retaliation for a previous slight.
That's what I get for being Discordian during a Christian Holiday. Glad I caught myself before all hell broke loose.... never mind.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Politicks with a side of Rant

So, I get home from work today, and LW shows me some posts on the site she hangs out on (Cafemom.com). These people on this site really like to air their grievances about anything - doesn't matter what it is. Some groups, you wander into the discussion and I swear to goddess, you can actually smell the sweat from the gym, the cries of the nerds hanging from the flagpole by their underwear, even the underlying tones of desperation, panic, insecurity raging hormones of High School.
Anyways, LW brought up a interesting point today: Why the hell should we fall in line behind Obama? Why is it now a "bad thing" to bash Obama? What the hell kind of double standard is this? I mean, when Bush was in office (I'm really trying to be on my best behavior here, please bear with me), I was vocal about what an idiot I thought he was. Very vocal... to the point that I almost petitioned Oxford to update their entry of "fucking retarded dumbass" to include a picture of him.
Now, when Reagan was in office, I was too young to make a decision about his presidency. Although the Yuppie movement peaked during his presidency, I don't hold that against him. As near as I could tell, he did alright as far a presidents go. Then we had the Iran/Contra affair, and I saw Reagan as a guy who was duped by his staff - sort of like a benevolent, yet doddering old man who only wanted what was best for everyone.
Then Bush Sr. Took office. Not a whole lot going on there - really just kind of a place holder... a sort of neutral, flavorless, amorphous sort of blah type funk that just kind of liquefied the mind and turned Joe Public towards cable. The bright spot of Bush Sr. career? Dan Quayle - Hells yeah! Potatoe! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Murphy Brown!
After Four years of mediocrity and a rather interesting incident involving a Japanese Premier, we got the presidential equivalent of Burt Reynolds in the 70's. All man, all the time, sex machine sax playin' Bill Clinton. The nation turned back from cable to network television for about an hour; then went back to trying to pirate the Playboy channel.
Re-election time gave us the sex symbol Bill Clinton Vs. the lack of sex symbol, Bob Dole. There was just something about an aging, Viagra popping, third person speaking republican who tended to put himself to sleep while talking. Geez, like there was really any question about who was going to win that one.
Then, came the *ahem* "shot* heard across the intern -erm... world. Clinton lied about it, and almost got himself impeached. Personally, I think he just refused to invite the right republicrats to his orgies, and feelings got hurt, and when the blue dress showed up, these little whine-asses decided that they wanted to really stick it to him (figuratively). Personally, if he had just come out and said "Yeah, I did get a hummer from her, and it was great!" A lot of people would had just kind of giggled, and said "Oh, Bill..." and slapped his wrist, and that would have been that.
After that, there was a great disturbance in the Force: Like a thousand voices crying out in terror, and then falling silent. But honestly, it was a foregone conclusion. Who was to be our next president? A Human sized Ent or a Frat Boy Texan with the IQ that would make a rock wonder what the hell he was thinking?
Big surprise. America had become apathetic enough that it all settled on one State. Florida, where everything is in the eighties, the temperatures, the ages, the clothing styles and the IQs. Yeek. We went to bed that night knowing the free world was still in democratic hands, and woke up in some Philip K. Dick/George Orwell dystopian nightmare. Well, that's what it felt like to some of us. I just rolled my eyes and figured that the world was mediocre enough that the next four years would be just a warmed over rehash of Bush Sr.
However, Islamic extremists decided that they had been barred from one too many decadent western parties, and decided to take out their frustration by stealing a couple of planes and flying them into the Twin Towers in New York. Suddenly, Bush pt. 2 had to hero up and actually play president: A task that scared the holy livin' bejeezus out of most democrats (who by this time had decided to move to Canada (allegedly)), as well as El Presidente.
Sure, the media was full of pictures of Bush sitting in a kindergarten room, looking lost, not knowing what to do. Michael "I'm a rich, fat, white guy" Moore questioned what he was doing while the towers burned. Truth is, Bush was still trying to figure out why they must not "hop on pop".
The Nation rallied around the dumbfounded president. Congress passed the "Patriot Act" without bothering to actually read the damn thing. This feel good measure all but guaranteed the ALCU was going to stay in business for the next four years at the least. By this point in time, a lot of photo ops happened, a lot of conjecture what thrown around, and Bush decided that in order to get things back together, we needed to go to Afghanistan and hunt down the mastermind of the attacks, Osama Bin Laden.
Three months (give or take however much time it actually took) of daisy cutters and moving rocks from this pile over here to that pile over there via large explosions, it is decided that Osama is actually none other than that Wacky Iraqi, Sadam Hussein. After running him to ground, they finally capture the fallen despot hiding out in the four star Hilton spider hole. After being returned to Iraq, he is judged, found guilty, and hung within half an hour of being home (times listed may have been changed for comedic/rhetorical purposes).
In the power vacuum that occurred from the vacating of the position of "Evil Threat to America", the government decide that instead of focusing on one leader, we'll piss off the entire world. Amazingly enough, government finally accomplished something it had set out to do. Huzzah! What the hell does the rest of the world know? We're America!
The next election rolls around. Frat boy Vs. The Human Skeleton. Round One: Bell rings, Skeleton comes out strong! Frat boy is reeling! Ooh! saved by the bell! Round Two: Bell Rings, Skeleton is riding high from first round, but wait! what is this? Swift Boat Veterans have snuck into the ring and... OH MY GOD! Chair shot! The Swift Boat Veterans have blindsided the Human Skeleton with a steel chair upside the head! But wait! He's not going down! Round Three: Bell Rings, Frat boy comes out swinging, but wait! Where's the Human Skeleton? He's just sitting there, while the Swift Boat Veterans are beating him around the head and neck with anything they can get their hands on! Ooh, a trash can! Jeez, did you see that Kendo stick just shatter? Why is he not fighting back?
Final verdict? Well Duh... was there any question? I was really surprised Kerry even bothered to show up to the results.
Post drubbing, Bush manages to piss away not only any support he has over seas, but manages to turn America into a pseudo-police state. Questions about as to whether or not he is actually in control or if others are pulling the strings behind him. One of the alleged "puppet masters" shoots a lawyer in the face, winning a temporary reprieve from crappy ratings. Talks with the networks seem to hint that the Dram-edy "Bush's League" is on track to be canceled prematurely.
Sensing issues that need to be addressed, America goes to the polls and in a stunning move, republicans get a cold glass of water to the face by losing the majority of seats in both the House and the Senate. Winds of change begin to blow.
Blacks, Women, Mormons, and the standard mix of lunatics, blowhards, and fat, stupid, white men start stumping across America. The dozing giant, now tired of pay-per-view porn, decide to actually pay attention to just what the hell is actually going on: Just in time for the American financial system to suffer a massive coronary. Millions of people lose their jobs, their homes, their 401k, their will to live.
In a brilliant move, the government says "Hey! Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac, you're soo intertwined in the American System that we'll take you over. Oh, hey! AIG! You're the ones who started this all, here's a ton of money! Go buy hookers and shit!"
Fast forward to the semi-finals: We have a Black Man with a white man backing him up Vs. A White man with a white woman backing him up. Hurrah! Now, not only do we have the race card in play, but also the gender card! Rock on party people! Now, America is going to make history regardless of who wins. A Black Man, or a White Woman (face it, McCain would die in office).
Sure, she was hot, even MILF material, up until she opened her mouth. One minute, she is the object of most guys fantasies, the next, she's sounding just like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, except even more clueless and with a gun.
Hilarity ensues as both parties manage to make asses of themselves time and again, but ultimately, McCain does the right thing and bows to reason. Palin on the other hand, apparently doesn't get the memo and continues to let her loony show.
The economy continues to tank, the new president brings logic to America, the world breathes a sigh of relief. Dems celebrate, repubs start booking passage to Canada. All is well, right?
Wrong.
New Pres brings too much logic, not enough action. Money is going out faster than we can make it. People whining that it's all New Pres fault, never mind that all this shit started out over 12 years ago.
Do I think new pres is going to fix everything? Dunno, but I will say this. I am sick of all these professional politicians who run the government. I think we need a new voice....

Me.

Pick your jaw back up. I figure if we've had the worst the republcrats can throw at us, between mediocre, horny bastard, idiot and cold, calculating logician, we can't do any worse. I'll tell you what: If elected, I promise we as a nation will party like rockstars. We will have our ups and our downs. We'll storm in the front door, and slink out the back after your parents show up. We'll makes sweet, sweet, passionate love, and quick, dirty, meaningless sex. We'll make millions and lose it all on lottery tickets.
Once we're done, and have decided that it's not going to work out, we'll part ways, a little older, a little wiser, perhaps even with a new outlook on life.

Oh who am I kidding, I don't have the attention span to be president. Besides, the American populace would have to be smoking crack while eating entire sheets of blotter acid as Beavis & Butthead plays in the background.

Anyways, As I was saying earlier: Barak is a big boy. Even though I may have voted for him, he wasn't my first choice, and I don't really agree with a lot he is doing. Do I agree with a lot of those guys out there that say he is doing it all wrong? No, but I don't think they need to be told to shut the fuck up either. We got to rant and rave for eight years, and I must say, some of my republican friends were very gracious about my vitriol. The least I can do is allow them to now return the favor.
Just as long as they don't attack his skin color, he's fair game. So for all of you out there saying we need to get behind him and support him, do me a favor... GO AWAY. You can't sit there and bash Bush, only to now say "hey, you can't say that about the president!" Fuckin' Hypocrites.... Shut up....
Listen, you took potshots at Bush, your guy got into office, now it's time to put on your big girl panties and face the fact that not everyone agrees with you. Surprise! The real world sucks!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Meaningless Drivel

I'm going for a "Truth in Advertising" sort of theme in this post. I have absolutely nothing to say right now, but I feel that I need to get something out on the digital page.
Paidon is halfway through his latest story, I wish him luck on it - deadlines suck. I did a search through writing contests, and found scads of contests... but nothing that inspired me to write.
However, thinking of Paidon and deadlines, I suddenly remembered something he did a while back - he wrote a overview of the "new" Colorado for the Vampire relaunch. It didn't get picked up, but I remember that he had wanted to use my LARP character as one of the major figures in his source.
Now, my character was rather interesting. For those who are not familiar with Role-Playing Games (RPG), Live Action Role Playing (LARPing), or White Wolf Publishing, this may get a little confusing.
Approximately 3 1/2 years ago, Paidon got me into a LARP out of Palisade. The first night I just kinda hung out and watched these guys (and gal) act out a game. Now don't get me wrong, I'm an old veteran of pencil and paper RPGs - I had even done some live action war games, but this, this was just too unbelievable. Like a junkie with a rock, I was in heaven.
The next game session, I created my Gangrel - Handsome Jack.
A 14th generation Gangrel, Handsome Jack was anything but. His sire had been planning on embracing him for a long time, but right before he could do so, Handsome Jack was attacked by a Black Spiral Dancer (Evil Werewolf) who tore off part of his face (from under the eye to the jaw). Jack's sire attacked and killed the Dancer for reneging on their truce, and embraced Jack as he died.
The embrace was enough to convert Jack, but since his face was disfigured prior to his embrace, he was stuck as a hideous monster. Succumbing to frenzy, Jack wandered the woods for years, hunting Dancers and those who were foolish enough to come across Jack (it just so happened that "his" woods were on government land). After a few years, the frenzy subsided, and Jack began to make connections with local lycanthropes, allowing him (reasonably) free travel between the woods and the town.
However, once in town, he found the local vampire population to be even more dangerous than running loose with lycanthropes. To complicate matters, the population was split between the Prince and his Camarilla, and a suave, intelligent Toreador (If I remember correctly) leading a group of Anarchs.
Jack ended up playing the Prince, while feeding vital information back to the Anarchs. It was a messy business, and eventually brought down the wrath of the Church, in which Jack ultimately sacrificed himself to stave off a complete cleansing of the town.

I think I might pull Jack out of "un"death and work up some stories for him... I dunno.

Perils of time travel

Little Stink and Stink just finished watching "Meet the Robinsons" for the umpteenth time today, and I got to thinking.
*Spoiler Warning* The following may contains spoilers: While this movie has been out for a time now, there may be some of you who haven't seen it yet. On the off chance that you're still wanting to watch it, but haven't gotten to that point yet (under a rock, without electricity, transportation and or tied up in a basement forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck alternately... poor bastard) then STOP READING! You've been warned.

So, in the movie, this kid, Louis, finds out that his own son from the future has come back in time to make sure certain events happen as they're supposed to. In the process, Louis finds out a lot about himself, including what his family is going to look like.
This of course raises some questions:

1. Since Louis looks a lot like his future self, only younger, why the hell does his future family not notice it earlier? I know that wearing a fruit hat might make a small difference, but not that much. Reminds me of a cartoon that I saw once, where Superman was flying around with glasses on. The caption read "Confusion ensued today as no one was sure if it was Superman disguised as Clark Kent, or Clark Kent disguised as Superman."
2. When Louis goes to the future, he discovers all of these inventions that he will make. Doesn't that sort of preclude him discovering them in the first place? A perfect example of this is when Louis and his son, Wilbur, are discussing the invention of the time machine. Wilbur explains that his father had woken up one night with the idea for the machine, and they go through the subsequent incarnations (or what's left of them). Now, Louis knows he's going to invent the time machine before he dreams it, therefore rendering the earlier statement false.
3. I don't know why, but for some reason, I have an easier time of believing singing, talking frogs over a (semi-intelligible) talking dinosaur. Not really an issue with consistency, more of a personal observation.
4. There is no point 4.
5. At one point Louis is talking to the villain (an evil bowler hat.... don't ask) and says, "I will never invent you". At that point, the villain turns to dust and the future is saved. three cheers... whoopee... Are words really that powerful? I have yet to run across any future inventions or relations or anything like that, but honestly, I would be afraid of what I was saying. You could get a warped butterfly type effect just by saying the wrong word to the right person.
6. What's to say that someone from Wilbur's future doesn't come back from the far future to fix something that Louis had to fix when Wilbur was a kid? What if Doris needs to be prevented from not being invented to stave off some interstellar invasion of self-conscious bald men?

Y'know, it's questions like this that have kept me from conquering the world.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Adventures in School Programs

So Big Stink had a program tonight through his school. The entire school was doing a thing on the history of America, and Big Stink's class got to do the history of Colorado.
Approximately 350 kids, with at least 1 parent (most with 2) along with a grandparent or aunt/uncle or two, almost all crammed into a theater that was designed in the '60s and was rated for approximately 256 people.
If anyone is familiar with Grand Junction, the program was being held at the Central High School auditorium.Yeek....
Anyways, we're piling into the auditorium, and all these people are sitting on the sides of the auditorium, at the front of the row. There are like, six or seven seats, and these idiots are sitting in the very first two seats, with five empty ones on the other sides of them. Then, quite a few of them had the audacity to complain about parents who kept getting up to help their kids or babies out.
So the program starts - Kids are cute, the songs are catchy, and stink, little stink and various younger cousins start getting their monkey on.
Squirming, whining, shrieking... and that was just little stink.
So finally, Big Stinks, part of the program comes up, and it is great. Big Stink has some great parts ( he played a Cavalry soldier who bosses other characters around). Every time Big Stink was in the spotlight and said something, Stink would laugh and say "Stink Funny!" (not what he really said, but I'm substituting Big Stink's nickname for his real name).
After that, the older kids had their part (which too forever!) but was still cool. Then parts of our group decided to storm out ((for what reason goddess may only know) at least that's what it seemed like to me). So as were getting ready to leave, the other mom in our carpool walks by and says "well at least he (Big Stink) can really project up there".
It's probably good I didn't have any utensils or pointed objects right then because I really wanted to shove it in her eye. It's not like her kid is any better - damn psychotic little shit.
Regardless, we decided to get the gang together and get ice cream at the local National chain of ice cream vendor.
Long story short, Little stink barfed in the store, Lovely Wife played trooper, took little stink outside while our crew inside helped clean up, and then we went home for the night.

Fun huh?

(P.s. Minor Grammar issue really f'ed up the story. Thanks to Paidon <@Paidon> for pointing out it's Cavalry, not Calvary. That's kinda like the difference between a solider and the place where Christ died. Having issues with that last phrase... started out as ...the place where death dies... then became the place where death died, then slowly morphed into ...the place where Chirst dies. Thank god I'm a discordian.)

Friday, April 3, 2009

More Television Musing

Bob Saget - What the hell does he think he's doing? Seriously... the dude has no real sense of comedic timing. From Full House to America's Funniest Home Videos to this new crap that is supposedly rolling out.
Get over it! You suck, you've always sucked, you always will suck. March of the Penguins? Suckage!

Besides that, 20/20 is talking about some Mormon dude who allegedly killed his wife. As far as I'm concerned, he did it. There's just something about him that seems really suspicious. I think it's the moles... the moles on his face tell me he's guilty.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

TV sux

Y'know, Jimmy Fallon is really sucking tonight. Moreso than usual. On SNL he was alright... about as funny as Chris Kattan (WTF ever happened to him?) but since he's went solo, he's been hoovering more or less on a regular basis. Tonight, however, He's reaching a factor of Industrial wet/dry ShopVac. Not necessarily Microsoft level of suckage, but getting close.
I think the only thing he's got going for him tonight is the fact that he managed to talk The Roots into being his house band (and first guest being Seth Rogan) is keeping him from hitting full Microsoft Windows 3.1 level of suckage.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

*sigh*

That's how I'm feeling right now. Just *sigh*. Wild day at work, training all day, then almost lost an employee due to another employee being a royal pain. Unable to address it today due to time constraints.
But that's neither here nor there.

Law & Order is a repeat tonight. Life was kinda lame, but Better Off Ted was pretty solid. TV... pfffffftttt. I need to work on the book, but by the time I get to the point where the kids are in bed, I just want to relax, maybe play a game, but I'm hitting a wall. Kongregate just isn't doing it for me right now, and I just can't motivate myself to crack open the program and get to work.

*sigh*

At this point in time, the only way I can get ahead anywhere is by finishing this book - school is out of the question for the time being; working full time precludes finishing my last few credits .Even if I did evening classes, I would still be missing two integral classes that are only offered in the middle of the day, making it impossible to work full time.

*sigh*