Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A Teaser...

So, in light of Melissa's discovery, I thought I would post some of the articles we had worked up for subsequent articles of The Devil's Advocate. Keep in mind these were rough drafts, and the political climate was much different at the time (not to mention we were a bunch of rabid, anti-republican college kids).

Soooooo..... without further ado.... some articles from the now defunct Devil's Advocate

New Virus Causing Havoc

By: Ed "Eddie" Tor

HAWAII - A new virus has apparently surfaced here of the coast of the big island. Security officials at the Hawaiian Outer-islands Anti-viral eXamination center, have discovered a new virus that they have tentatively named "E.626".

"It is actually a very strange type of viral infection". Stated Dr. L. ilo Wakawakawaka. "From what we have seen, upon infection, is that the virus releases the first part of its payload, destroying file structures, attacking the boot sector, melting wiring structures in the CPU unit itself, and stealing everyone's left shoe." Dr. Wakawakawaka pointed to her bare left foot at this time.

"Within several hours of infection, the virus managed to spread to other computers on the closed network we had set up to test for propagation. The results were just as devastating on those networks also. The virus seemed to be impervious to everything we threw at it. It literally broke our state of the art virus program in half. Our secretary had to go home early due to the fact that she had lost the left shoe of her new pair of Guiccis that she had spent two paychecks on."

Dr. Wakawakawaka pointed to another computer, sitting alone. "Now this was rather interesting. We installed the program on this computer, which is not connected to any other computer in any way. The E.626 virus actually rebult the folders and has optimized the entire system."

Dr. Wakawakawaka later stated that the virus E.626 has also been know to be bundled with several other computer compromisers, the two most common files being the J.U.M.ba trojan horse, and/or the pL.eak.L.y worm.

Apparently several researchers at the center have affectionately nicknames the virus "Stitch".