So, today was big stinks birthday, and as is becoming custom, I took him to see a movie for his birthday. Last year was Ironman (excellent movie BTW). This year was X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Warning! Spoilers ahead!
So, we go to the movie, and we're sitting there watching the previews...
9 - CGI-fest of some sort of knitted homununculous sort of thing trying to save the world.
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen - 'Nother CGI-fest. Of course this is against my better judgement.
Terminator: Salvation - what the hell? Yet another CGI-fest... I think it was the Nine Inch Nails "The Day the Whole World Went Away"
Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - Again with the damn CGI! This one has Poor Scrat falling(literally!) for a Female Squirrel.
Not So Much Previews:
TheTaking of Pelham 123 - I don't know, I think the whole "Travolta as a Bad Guy" is getting a little old. Alright already! We get it! you can play a slimeball! Must be drawing from his religion.
Anyways... Here is a spoiler free version of the movie:
Turns out Wolverine has always had the claws - he has many adventures, suffers through bad times, enjoys good, and becomes the lovable bad-ass we all admire.
Spoiler Laden Review (Last Warning!)
So we find out that not only is Logan older than dirt (literally! he starts out as a kid of like 8 in the 1700's), he also has a brother... none other than Victor Creed! A.k.a. Sabretooth!
Turns out that Victor's dad also slept with Logan's mom, and she passed logan off as her husband's child. The opening credits show us Victor and Logan fighting through the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, WWI, WWII, and Vietnam. After Victor kills a commanding officer and Logan jumps in to protect him, they face a firing squad, only to seusequently be recruited by William Stryker to form a team of mutants who are hunting down a new material called adamantium.
They trace the source back to some African town where Victor goes nuts, starts killing people, and Logan calls it quits, flees to Canada and becomes a lumberjack. After several years, Victor sets out to start killing his old crew, and tracks down Logan. Instead of killing him however, he kills Logan's Girlfriend - setting into motion a chain of events that Causes Logan to cross paths with Stryker.
Stryker now has enough adamantium to attempt a full body adamantium graft to Logan's skeletal structure. The procedure is a success, Stryker tries to doublecross Wolverine, we get a naked Hugh Jackman rampaging around, and an escape by waterfall.
Logan is then taken in by a nice older couple who own a farm. Fortunately for Logan (and an easy plot device) The old man is a motorcycle nut who has a bike in his barn, basically screaming for Logan to ride it. Agent Zero, one of Logan's old crew shoots the farmer and his wife in an attempt to pin it on Logan to justify using (excessively) lethal force.
Logan escapes, and begins the quest to hunt down Victor. In the process, he runs into two of his old teammates: John Wraith and the Blob. After a rediculous fight between Logan and the Blob, Wraith and Logan travel to New Orleans to find a street hustler by the name of Remy LeBeau, A.k.a. Gambit.
Logan Goads Gambit into revealing where the secret lab is, Wraith is killed by Victor, and right when Logan has Victor in a position to die, Gambit shows up and allows Victor to escape. Logan uses some fairly lame psychology to talk Gambit into taking him to the lab (conveniently located under Three Mile Island), where Stryker has been stealing DNA from mutants to create a supersoldier sort of killing machine by the name of Weapon Eleven (Logan's being Weapon X... the roman numeral ten).
Logan makes it to the lab, only to find out his dead girlfriend isn't dead. She was part of a plan to lure Logan into a trap so they could get his DNA, but it's o.k. because they still love each other. Logan frees a bunch of mutants with the help of his girlfriend and Gambit, and then faces off against weapon eleven.
During the climactic fight, Victor shows up, and the two of them proceed to get the shit knocked out of them by this uber-mutant until the Dramatically appropriate time when Logan manages to behead the erstwhile weapon eleven. Victor takes off, and Logan attempts to flee, only to find his girlfriend in bad shape (she having been shot earlier during the prison break). As he's carrying her out of the battleground, Stryker shows up and shoots Wolverine with Adamantium Bullets - three or four to the torso, two to the head.
Stryker goes to kill the girlfriend, but she uses her mutant ability to forcehim to jsut walk away, and then she dies. Logan wakes up with complete amnesia of the entire incident, not even recognizing his old lover, and takes off to parts unknown while Professor X makes a cameo, inviting many of the young mutants to hsi school for gifted children.
On the whole, I thought it wasn't all that bad of a movie - sure it was nowhere near as cool as Ironman, but it held together alot better than, say, X2.