Women and why they drive us to an early grave....

For some reason, it seems strangely fitting that the first "official" post of this experiment would be about women. SO.... here we go....
Women and why they drive us to an early grave

Since the dawn of time, men and women have had an undefinable need to be with each other - call it base animal needs, procreation desires, or just good old companionship, men and women need each other. Now, before any of you "progressive" types start getting your panties in a twist, This is purely for the sake of argument - I'm not discounting same sex relationships, nor am I condemning them, so of my closest friends have been gay.
Anyways.... where was I.... oh yeah....
Regardless of this need to be together, there has always been a darker, less pleasant side to these relationships - namely, the fact that those we love are usually the ones who kill us the quickest.
Why is this? Honestly, there are many schools of thought on this matter: stress, animosity, accidents, brain-washing, life insurance policies... take your pick.
Most of those are self explanatory, but probably the one that is the most horrible and insidious is the simple fact that (especially those who are married or in long term relationships) loving someone kills you.
Rather twisted, huh?
The one person you swore an oath of fealty to, to be there for, and to protect - and you're killing yourself - worrying about their well being, if they're happy and healthy - if they still care for you like you care for them. Not to mention that if you manage to live to a ripe old age, you die on them. Jesus, you are not only a liar, but a heartless son of a bitch...
But I suppose that at the same time, all those years that you spend with your significant other are the best years, so I suppose you can be forgiven for putting them through all that hell.
Wait... what? Kinda got off topic there for a second...
I guess the simple fact of the matter is that the more you love someone, the more you worry about that person, causing increased stress on your body, which in turn shortens your lifespan.
Now, if you have drama in your life, that increases your stress even more, not to mention the fact that the possibility of dying from lead poisoning increases exponentially.
So, my point is, if you love someone, it's gonna kill you, but the alternative can be much, much worse.